Q.1. What do you mean by harmony in family.
Ans. Family feuds can cause depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, sadness, confusion and rage. No one wants to live like that!
Here are some simple rules for turning family feuds into family fun. There areTen Commandments of Family Harmony to find some familial relief.
l. Thou shall zip it: -
Learn to think before you speak. Bite your tongue before that provocative remark comes out of your mouth and you get embroiled in a huge fight.
2. Thou shall clean the spleen: -
Write a really hateful, nasty letter to your family, telling them all your resentments and rages. Drop the letter into your personal “dead letter box”; and move on with a smile on your face.
3. Thou shall listen. Thou shall not dispute: -
Hey, words are only words! Sometimes people vent frustration in inappropriate ways by going on wild diatribes. Don’t get sucked down to their level.
When your Mom blows her top and starts howling about the time you came home late when you were nineteen and how you never come to see her any more and how Mrs. Johnson’s daughter is such a better daughter than you... you can hear her out and simply say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
When your mom cools off, she’ll probably feel bad, but you won’t have to. Avoiding that tit-for-tat argument because it always work as fans for the flames of the fire and burn you for a long time.
4. Thou shall remember: -
Good fences make for good family relationships. Create boundaries, set limits. You know how much contact you can take and how much will ignite your internal nuclear bomb.
5. Thou shall remember occasions and events
It costs merely 34 cents postage by snail mail, zip if your family’s on e-mail, to remember birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa. Whatever the occasion, a card makes people feel remembered, and when people feel remembered, they feel loved and hence, another feud is avoided. It make relationship, strong with our family or relatives.
6. Thou shall not overreact, ever: -
When family members feel neglected, they often will present a scenario that invites your overreaction. Overreactions can cause all-out wars. Don’t do it! and be peaceful.
7. Thou shall give in: -
If you want to win the war or avoid the war all together, sometimes it’s strategically advantageous to lose the battle. Assess a family situation carefully, strategize, and understand your gains and loses in any given situation.
For example, if your ageing mom needs a weekly phone call to avoid starting a fight with you, why not give it to her? by this, she feel, you care about her and love her. A little can go a long way.
8. Thou shall let brevity and paucity be the motto: -
In volatile families, keeping contact limited and utilizing a cordial and polite silence to avoid fights, can often extinguish the flames of conflict.
Artful dodging is a useful tool. If your Dad calls and you can tell he’s looking for trouble: “Got to go Dad, the Pastor’s at the door for his annual visit. Speak to you later!”
9. Thou shall chant: “What you see is what you get.”: -
Do not ever try to change your relatives. Remember, people can change themselves, but we cannot force another to change.
Accept your family for who they are, whether you like them or not: trying to change another causes battles, poor self-esteem (because you’re trying to do something that can’t be done and are doomed to failure), and depression.
10. Thou shall stay in the driver’s seat: -
Take control of potentially volatile family situations and take charge of managing them. For example, if you come from an alcoholic family and you know that going out to dinner means that cocktail hour is the main course and family feud is the dessert, arrange breakfast meetings where drinking won’t occur.
Q.2. What do you understand by human relationship.
Ans. The relationships we have with other people are projections of the relationships we have within ourselves. Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses.
The relationship is true and exist in our thoughts. Our relationship with another person is whatever we imagine it to be. Whether we love someone or hate someone, we are right. Now the other person may have a completely different relationship to us, but understand that our representation of what someone else thinks of us is also part of our thoughts. So our relationship with someone includes what we think of that person and what we believe s/he thinks of you. You can complicate it further by imagining what the other person thinks we think of him/her, but ultimately those internal representations are all we have.
Even if our relationships exist in some objective reality independent of our thoughts, we never have access to the objective viewpoint. We are always viewing our relationships through the lens of our own consciousness. The closest we can get to being objective is to imagine being objective, but that is in no way the same thing as true objectivity. That’s because the act of observation requires a conscious observer, which is subjective by its vary nature.
At first it might seem troublesome that we can never hope to gain a truly accurate, 100% objective understanding of our relationships. We can never escape the subjective lens of our own consciousness. That would be like trying to find the color blue with a red lens permanently taped over our eyes. That doesn’t stop people from trying, but such attempts are in vain. If we fall into the trap of trying to think of our relationships as objective entities that are external to us, We will be using an inescapably inaccurate model of reality. Consequently, the likely outcome is that we will frustrate ourself to no end when it comes to human relationships. We will make relating to other people a lot harder than it needs to be. Intuitively we may know something is off in our approach to relationships, but we will remain stuck until we realize that every relationship we have with another person is really a relationship that exists entirely within ourself.
Fortunately, once we embrace the subjective nature of relationships, we will have a much easier time relating to people. It’s easier to get where we want to go when we have an accurate map. The subjective view of relationships implies that we can change or improve our relationships with others by working on the internal relationships within ourself. Furthermore, we can improve our internal relationships, such as our self-esteem, by working on our relationships with others. Ultimately it’s all the same thing.
Here’s a basic example of how this works.
When I first met Erin, I quickly noticed she had an aversion towards orderliness. Having a messy room was a habit since childhood, and being organized was a concept forever alien to her. In Erin’s filing cabinet, I once found a file labeled “Stuff I Don’t Need.” Chew on that for a while.
On the other hand, I grew up in a house that was always — and I do mean always — neat and tidy. Even as a child, I took pride in keeping my room clean and well organized. So it probably comes as no surprise that I often push Erin to be neater and more organized.
If we try to look at this situation “objectively,” we might suggest solutions like me working on becoming more tolerant of disorder, Erin working on being neater, or a mixture of both. Or ywe might conclude we’re incompatible in this area and that we should try to find ways to reduce the level of conflict. Basically the solution will be some kind of compromise that seeks to mitigate the symptoms, but the core issue remains unresolved.
Let’s see what the subjective lens has to say now. This model says that my relationship with Erin is purely within my own consciousness. So my conflict with Erin is just the projection of an internal conflict. Supposedly my desire for Erin to be neater and more organized means that I really want to improve in this area myself. Is that true? Yes, I have to admit that it is. When I criticize Erin for not being neat enough, I’m voicing my own desire to become even more organized.
This is an entirely different definition of the problem, one that suggests a new solution. In this case the solution is for me to work on improving my own standards for neatness and order. That’s a very different solution than what we get with the objective model. To implement this solution, Erin needn’t even be involved.
It can be hard to admit that our complaints about others are really complaints about ourself, but the upside is that our relationship issues reveal where we still need to grow. Consequently, a fantastic way to accelerate our personal growth is to build relationships with others. The more we interact with others, the more we learn about ourself.
I believe the true value of human relationships is that they serve as pointers to unconditional love. According to the subjective model, when we forgive, accept, and love all parts of ourself, we will forgive, accept, and love all other human beings as they are. The more we improve our internal relationships between our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, the more loving and harmonious our human relationships will become. Hold unconditional love in our consciousness, and we will see it reflected in our reality.
Q.3. What is the basis of mutual happiness in human relationship? How does it lead to Undivided Society? (2010 - 11)
Ans. The self (‘I’) has feeling in a relationship. These feelings in the self (‘I’) are definite i.e. they can be identified with definiteness. Recognizing and fulfilling these feelings leads to mutual happiness in relationship.
Justice starts from family and slowly expands to the world family. The child gets the understanding of justice in the family. With this understanding, he goes out in the society and interacts with people.
If the understanding of justice is ensured in the family, there will be justice in all the interactions we have in the world at large. In the family, we learn to recognize relationship, the definite feelings or the values and learn how to fulfil them. The evaluation that takes place mutually in close relationships leading to mutual happiness instills a confidence in us that we can live the right way with human beings. This confidence unless ensured, we remain shaky in relationships. If we do not understand the values in relationship, we are governed by our petty prejudices and conditionings. We may treat people as high or low based on their body. We may treat somebody lowly as he/she belongs to a particular caste or sex or race or tribe, not understanding that these are the differentiations based on the body and are a grave mistake in the recognition of relationships. Similarly, we may differentiate on the basis of wealth one possesses or the belief systems that one follows. All this is source of injustice and leads to a fragmented society while our natural acceptance is for an undivided society and universal human order.
Undivided society is feeling of being related to every human being. The feeling of being related to every human being leads to our participation in an undivided society (Akhanda Samäja). With the understanding of values in human relationships, we are able to recognize the connectedness with every individual correctly, and fulfil it. When we understand the values in relationship with other units in nature too, we are able to recognize our connectness with them too and fulfil it. This enable us to participate in the universal human order.
Q.4. Explain the term societal harmony.
Ans. Total harmony has to be maintained under different external situations wherein human interactions and relationships are involved. This is essential for proper people management in non-structural as well as structural environments. Wherever societal interactions and interfaces are involved, relationship harmony plays a crucial role.
Management of people with different backgrounds, knowledge levels, skill sets, cultures, ethos, interests, civilizations, interests, aptitudes and attitudes in the multi-faceted social, cultural, political, economical and organizational endeavors and interactions requires a deep understanding of a range of relationship principles.
The societal relationship dimension assumes importance in a wide range of situations. The concept of relationship permeates the entire gamut of the management domain comprising roles, interactions, networking and socializing. The quality of relationship depends upon the individual in any particular position at a given point of time in a defined environment.
Relationship manifests in social and organizational interactions in both implicit and explicit manner. A proper management of relationship is required for playing one’s expected role in any particular environment. In the organizational context, relationships extend to various persons in the value chain.
General management scenario is driven by the relationships among the constituent members in any formal or informal group or organizational structure. The relationships in any such environment could take the form of a leader, manager, supervisor, member, associate and so on. Each role assumed determines the nature and type of relationship called for in that particular situation. In an organizational context, a manager may be a superior level position with reference to the executives working under him but with reference to the position of a director, his role may be that of a sub-ordinate. Thus the same person switches over from one role to another depending upon the nature of relationship required in line with the operating context and environment.
Labour plays the key role in the accomplishment of any task or mission. Without hard work, commitment and perseverance on the part of the labour, fulfilment of any desired objective becomes unfeasible. Dignity of labour has to be respected and a wide variety of labour has to be duly recognized. Then alone there will be social harmony in the labour front.
Leadership is of paramount significance for managing the human resources. The leader has to be courageous with foresight and capabilities. There should be equality and fair treatment to all. The quality of leadership determines the quality of management. The subordinates too have their own role to play in terms of their responsibilities so that the principle of team spirit and oneness is followed for accomplishment of any mission or task. They have to fully support and complement the leader in his initiatives. This will ensure harmonious relationship between the leader and the subordinates.
The process of conflict resolution, management of rivals and change management are significant factors in relational management due to constant changes in the external variables and cultural diversities. One needs to have a charitable disposition of mind towards others and build up healthy companionship. These are vital for societal harmony.
Q.5. What is meaning of justice in human relationships ? How does it follow from family to world family ? (2009-10)
Related Questions -
Q. Explain the meaning of Justice. Give any two measure by which you will help ensure it in the society. (2012 - 13)
Q. What is justice? How does it lead to mutual happiness? (2011-12)
Ans. Justice is the recognition of values (the definite feelings) in relationship, their fulfillment the right evaluation of the fulfillment resulting in mutual happiness.
Thus there are four elements of justice: recognition of values, fulfillment, evaluation. and mutual happiness ensured. When all the four are ensured, justice is ensured. Mutual - fulfillment is the hallmark of justice. And justice is essential in all relationships, be it with the small kid in your house, your old grandpa, the maid in the house, your fast friends or your distant relations. We need to grow up in relationships to ensure continuity of justice in all our relationships.
The process of ensuring justice has been outlined in the diagram below:
Justice starts from family and slowly expands to the world family. The child gets the understanding of justice in the family. With this understanding, he goes out in the society and interacts with people.
If the understanding of justice is ensured in the family, there will be justice in all the interactions we have in the world at large. In the family, we learn to recognize relationship, the definite feelings or the values and learn how to fulfil them. The evaluation that takes place mutually in close relationships leading to mutual happiness instills a confidence in us that we can live the right way with human beings. This confidence unless ensured, we remain shaky in relationships. If we do not understand the values in relationship, we are governed by our petty prejudices and conditionings. We may treat people as high or low based on their body. We may treat somebody lowly as he/she belongs to a particular caste or sex or race or tribe, not understanding that these are the differentiations based on the body and are a grave mistake in the recognition of relationships. Similarly, we may differentiate on the basis of wealth one possesses or the belief systems that one follows. All this is source of injustice and leads to a fragmented society while our natural acceptance is for an undivided society and universal human order.
Q.6. Write short note on trust and respect.
Related Questions -
Q. What is the meaning of respect? (2010 - 11, 12 - 13)
Ans. Trust: -
Trust is believing the person. It starts at the family and grows to others. According to the psychoanalyst Erik Erikson development of basic trust is the first state psychosocial development occurring, or failing, during the first two years of life. Success results in feelings of security, trust, and optimism, while failure leads towards an orientation of insecurity and mistrust.
Trust is integral to the idea of social influence: it is easier to influence or persuade someone who is trusting. The notion of trust is increasingly adopted to predict acceptance of behaviors by others, institutions (e.g. government agencies) and objects such as machines. However, once again perception of honesty, competence and value similarity (slightly similar to benevolence) are essential. There are three different forms of trust. Trust is being vulnerable to someone even when they are trustworthy; Trustworthiness is the ability to trust, and trust propensity being able to rely on them Relationship and Risk taking. Once trust is lost, by obvious violation of one of these three determinants, it is very hard to regain. Thus there is clear asymmetry in the building versus destruction of trust. Hence being and acting trustworthy should be considered the only sure way to maintain a trust level.
Respect: -
Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion). Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected (e.g., “I have great respect for her judgment”). It can also be conduct in accord with a specific ethic of respect. Rude conduct is usually considered to indicate a lack of respect, whereas actions that honour somebody or something indicate respect.
Specific ethics of respect are of fundamental importance to various cultures. Respect for tradition and legitimate authority is identified by Jonathan Haidt as one of five fundamental moral values shared to a greater or lesser degree by different societies and individuals.
Kinds of Respect: -
Respect for Superiors: -
Respect, and outward signs of respect, are used in hierarchical organizations to reinforce values of obedience and submission.
Military organizations maintain discipline by requiring respect from members. For example, in the United States armed forces, conspicuous contempt toward officials is a punishable offense. The system of military rank relies on subordinates respecting their superiors.
Respect for Parents and the Elderly: -
In many societies, people are expected to be respectful of their parents and other elders. In Confucianism, filial piety is the virtue of showing respect to ones parents.
Respect for Nations: -
Most societies expect members to be patriotic, showing respect to the nation as a whole.
This respect is sometimes extended to concrete symbols of the nation, such as flags. Respect for the American flag is shown by adhering to a list of rules as to its display: it must not be flown at night, it must not be allowed to become ragged, and so on.
Respect in Religion: -
Many religions require specific gestures of respect towards religious figures and religious artifacts. Examples include genuflection towards bishops or consecrated hosts in the Catholic church, and zemnoy poklon in the Eastern Orthodox church.
Respect for Other Cultures: -
Intercultural competence is an ethic of respecting many different cultures, usually in accordance with each culture’s specific notions of respect. coka dooodle
Signs of Respect and Disrespect: -
Respect is shown in many languages by following specific grammatical conventions, especially in referring to individuals.
An honorific is a word or expression (often a pronoun) that conveys respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Typically honorifics are used for second and third persons; use for first person is less common. Some languages have anti-honorific or despective first person forms (meaning something like “your most humble servant” or “this unworthy person”) whose effect is to enhance the relative honor accorded a second or third person.
A Style (manner of address) is a legal, official, or recognized title which by tradition or law precedes a reference to a person who holds a post, or which is used to refer to the political office itself. Styles are particularly associated with monarchies, where they may be used by a wife of an office holder or of a prince of the blood, for the duration of their marriage. They are also almost universally used for presidents in republics and in many countries for members of legislative bodies, higher-ranking judges and senior constitutional office holders. Leading religious figures also have styles.
Honorific speech is a more general term encompassing any special grammatical rules that indicate more respect on the part of the speaker. For example, in Japanese, all verbs are conjugated differently in the honorific mode, even when they are not directly related to figure of respect.
Q.7 What is its importance in human relationship? (2011 - 12)
Ans. In all relationships, trust is the foundation. A relationship without trust result in opposition, the relationship itself gets shaken up. Lack of trust is what ultimately leads to extreme situations like war.
Trust is thus called the foundation value or ‘adhara mulya’.
Q.8. In our behaviour, we generally observe our ‘intention’ and other’s ‘lack of competence’. Does it lead to mutual happiness? What is the alternative? Explain with the help of an example.
Ans. In our behaviour, we generally observe our ‘intention’ and other’s ‘lack of competence’. It does’nt lead to mutual happiness.
The intention of the other is always to make us happy, just like we always have the intention of wanting the happiness of the other. But ours’, as well as the other’s competence is lacking, for which we have to accept responsibility to improve and work towards having the right understanding for this improvement.
For example, assume you are walking in your college campus and your close friend walks by from the other direction. You look at him and smile, but he barely notices you, and keeps walking, with his head down. You feel angry and disappointed that he did not acknowledge your presence. You tend to assume that he wants to ignore you. Later on, you find out that he was disturbed since he had lost his wallet. You immediately feel alright and you are not angry anymore. What happened here? You doubted your friend’s intention. It is not that he intended to or wanted to ignore you, only that he was preoccupied with something else. However, you doubted his intention, and for that instant, you felt a sense of opposition for him, not a feeling of relationship. When you found out later on that he had lost his wallet, you immediately realized that it was not his intention to ignore you, only his competence was lacking at that moment. In this example, we can clearly see a problem arising in you due to doubt on intention, and disappearing when the doubt on intention is gone. This problem in you creates a conflict with your own natural acceptance, and at that very instant, you are unhappy.